Kayaking for the larger set.

When we take people out kayaking we have a weight limit. This is for many reasons, but the most obvious is that the kayaks themselves have a weight limit, they become too tippy when you approach this limit. For the Ocean Kayak Zest II (http://www.oceankayak.com/kayaks/tandems/zest_two_exp.html) the weight limit is 500 - 600 lbs, I would say you could only push the 500 lbs if you were somewhat comfortable on the water. I think realistically this is more like 450 lbs. But as things go if someone shows up to paddle and they are "larger" we put them in a Zest (and hope for the best). You must also consider that if they "huli" (flip over) getting that person back in the kayak is going to be work. Back to yesterday...... the clients arrive and there are 2 girls from the Bay Area who are on vacation together and one is probably within normal weight for her height and the other is easily 100 lbs overweight. In total there are 18 people for the day, there are 3 guides so this is just right.......that is if nothing happens. Our trip is barely 2 miles roundtrip (your average tourist can't really do more than this). We get everyone in the water and I spend about 10 minutes explaining paddling to these 2 women who can't seem to grasp that to go backwards you must NOT paddle forwards. And to give you a better idea of the day, the tradewinds are blowing intermittenly. I have to perform what we refer to as the "tugboat" on these clients just to get them pointed in the right direction. A simple description of the tugboat is that I ram the side of the kayak with my own to bring the bow around. I actually love doing it because I can vent some frustration at people who sign up for a kayaking trip when they really just want you to tow them.
After a lot of coaching we get them over to the snorkeling site and into the water. Most people get cold in the water before we actually have to call them in. So after about 45 minutes the clients are getting back in their kayaks, did I tell you we do all of this in the water, in otherwords we do not take the kayaks to shore. The client must get back into the kayak in the water. (We have explained ALL of this prior to the trip.) So I realize that I am going to have to help this larger woman get back in the kayak, I pull my kayak up next to her seat in the tandem, turn and anchor my legs across her seat so that I won't end up in the water in the process of "helping" her in. I reach across and grab her sunscreen slathered arms and my hands slide all the way down to her hands and I pull and pull and finally get her mostly up on the kayak. Okay, this is good. We paddle back to a second snorkeling spot and on the way she and her friend huli (flip over). I, again, pull my kayak up next theirs and do the same procedure all over again. Only this time when she gets on the kayak she reaches across and grabs mine and leans all her wieght on it (I am still not really sure why) and of course she ends up spilling over the side of the kayak in my direction and pushes me in.
For the next few minutes I am diving for all their equipment that they did not tie down and the few things of mine that have floated off. One of the other guides comes back to help and I have him take their kayak to shore so that they can climb on and I strap the bow line from mine around my waist and swim for the shallowest water, because in the process of all this I have taken on enough water that I cannot get back in without pumping out the excess water. And I cannot keep the kayak from tipping over without doing this. So off I go and off they go. I get to the beach, pump out the kayak, and secure everything and get a helping hand out thru the surf by a naked man (did I mention that this is a nude beach?) he was very kind to help me and he had some interesting piercings. This was my day...........today my arms are all sore.
Praise joe-bee-sus for the day off.